Judging Pain

Essence and Soul, Holistic Therapy in Blenheim, Marlborough, New Zealand

Ask yourself….Do I judge others pain?

The past three years have been a struggle, a battle of masks, mandates, segregation of friends, family and to be blunt, entire humankind with a them and us mentality created by some and fueled by the media, among others.

One aspect of this I have witnessed firsthand is the effect that this prolonged state of mind has had on our community, our community of likeminded souls. No matter what “side” of the metaphorical fence you are on, we have all felt emotions one way or another and my biggest advocate here is, each to their own without judgement.

In this time, the treatment room walls have seen it all, from anger, frustration, confusion and fear to tears, hurt and disappointment. I too have felt these feelings at times, and it has been and continues to be an honor to hold sacred space for others to let their emotions be heard, acknowledged, felt and released, without judgement.

So without heading down a rabbit hole of what has been going on around the globe, I would really like to chat about life, life beyond the chat of covid, because life has still been happening, people are still falling ill to other ailments, people are still losing their loved ones, going through harsh medical treatments, job losses, heartbreak, loneliness, financial hardship, birth, miscarriage and infertility, weddings, depression, house renovations….you name it, life has continued on, the good, the bad and all that is between, so not only have we had “normal” life stresses, we have had this heavy load of, lets just call it covid, put on everyone and some souls have at times, been made to feel that their everyday stresses are “not as important” because “look how bad someone else has it”, “just get over it”, “it’s not as bad as” or “at least you have….”.

Nope, this is a firm NO for me, and it really upsets me when I see it too often on social media……Please, please take a moment here to stop, right now, take a moment to reflect on this, asking yourself if you are apart of this social disaster that allows one to squish another’s feelings, thoughts, or beliefs about their own life.

Do we need to understand other people’s situations/belief’s, NO (for sure if we are coming from a good place, maybe we might want to understand more and or offer some kind of advice, maybe you have been through something similar yourself), as more often than not, we are not going through what that soul might be going through, also, so many of people’s deep pains are hidden, buried deep within themselves and what is going on for each person is completely relevant to them in that moment, it might be a buildup of many things or one major, that can tip someone over the line before they voice their viewpoint, their concerns, their pain and we may only ever be able to see the tip of what is hidden beneath for them.

DO YOU want to be more mindful of other’s pain? repeat after me…..

Everybody’s pain is relevant to them, there is no scale of mine is worse than yours, I will not judge another’s hurt

See how that can help to change your mindset towards others, keep coming back to the ideal that there is no scale of mine vs your pain, any time you feel yourself heading back into a pattern of judging another’s life, pain, belief. As an idea, you could write this mantra on a post-it note and pop it on a mirror or somewhere you often pass, so it is often in your mind.

I am big on being grateful for what I have and often (as I am only human) I need a reminder too, that the more we judge others, the less our own light shines. When I practice gratitude, I feel warm, comforted and strength, in turn I am able to be more mindful of another person’s feelings and allow them the space they need, on their own journey.

So, remember…

Everybody’s pain is relevant to them, there is no scale of mine is worse than yours, I will not judge another’s hurt

Love & Light,

Milinda X

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